Omaha, NE—Yesterday, during a press conference on the outskirts of Omaha, a group of horses known as “The Society for the Advancement of Horses” (or T.S.A.H.) complained to reporters that President Obama’s remark concerning Kanye West’s behavior at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards was inappropriate. They continued by saying the remark was a...
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Tallahassee, FL—Over the last few weeks, rapper, T-Pain, formerly of the Nappy Heads, who is now in the midst of a successful solo career, found himself able to cure all the diseases in the world just by using Apple’s studio software, Logic. According to the rapper, he began by using the less sophisticated program,...
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Boise, Idaho—Children returning to school in Boise this year have found themselves in the midst of a national crisis they barely understand themselves. This past Monday, during Mrs. Bellsey’s Kindergarten class at Grover Cleveland Elementary School, groups of adults known as “Tea Party Patriots” stormed into the classroom, interrupting the youngsters as they were...
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Washington—In the midst of a massive economic crisis, two wars in which no end seems to be in site and the difficult task of choosing a puppy for his two daughters, President Obama still found time to sign into law yesterday a bill that states acoustic guitarists are no longer allowed to sit down...
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WASHINGTON D.C.—Earlier this week, the Washington D.C.-based band, Fugazi, received notice that they will be receiving a stimulus check as a part of President Obama’s attempt to boost the economy back into motion. The government’s reasoning for singling out the band is due to Fugazi’s efforts throughout the years to keep concert costs at...
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