To:  “Victor Scorzelli” scorzelli@turboappliances.com     Tuesday July 7, 2009 2:39 PM 

From: “George Cosmos” gcosmos5743@aol.com 

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Band Rehearsal

Victor,

I do agree that Dan’s vocals aren’t up to snuff but he’s one of our closest friends.  I think kicking him out of the band would be an awful mistake.  Let’s not discuss this anymore.

On another subject, let’s say you’re at the bank, like I was this morning, and the teller greets you like you’re best friends. And already you’re incredibly uncomfortable because small talk makes you super anxious and nervous.   Then she asks you if you have any plans for the weekend, which is somewhat surprising especially since today is only TUESDAY.  What do you say?  Really.  I don’t know what I’m doing over the weekend. I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow.  The whole thing left me in a funk all morning.  I wish these people would just leave me alone and let me go about my business without harassing me with chit chat.  Ugh!  I can’t stand it!  

Anyway, on a more positive note, I heard back from that girl from the internet.  We spoke on the phone for like two hours.   She’s cool.  She’s like a cross between Joan Baez and Cheryl Ladd.  The only setback is that she’s religious.  I’m not sure to what extent but her profile said she was “Christian.”    Say hi to Frannie for me.

Best, George  

To: “George Cosmos” gcosmos5472@aol.com Tuesday July 7, 2009 6:29 PM

From: “Victor Scorzelli” scorzelli@turboappliances.com

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Band Rehearsal

Dude,

Next time you’re at the bank and the teller asks you a shitass question like that, you should say something like this:

What the hell do you care what I’m doing over the weekend? What do you need a date? Feeling lonely these days? Let me tell you something, I didn’t come in here to be smiled at or to make friends. I came here to deposit some goddamn money. What am I doing this weekend?! I’ll tell you what I’m doing this weekend. I’m going to buy a bottle of Jack Daniels, a case of beer and a big fuckin’ bag of weed and I’m going to get so fucked up, I’m not going to know who I am anymore. Then I’m going to call some hookers and have them come over so I can fuck the shit out of them. That’s my plans for the weekend. Have a problem with that?

I know you’d never have the balls to say something like that but it’d be totally rad if you did.

Peace, Victor

“Shop Turbo Appliances for All Your Appliance Needs”-turboappliances.com

To:  “Victor Scorzelli” scorzelli@turboappliances.com    Wednesday  July 8, 2009  1:29 PM

From: “George Cosmos”  gcosmos5472@aol.com

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Band Rehearsal

Victor,

No balls, huh?  I know you think I’m a coward when it comes to stuff like that but I just thought you’d like to know that I took your advice and did something I never thought I’d do.  

Just in case you were wondering, I went to the bank again this morning and had the same teller as yesterday.  Of course she greeted me with the same old smile and again, she asked, “Any plans for the weekend?”  That was when I recited everything you wrote in your last email, verbatim. It was beautiful.  She didn’t know what to say.  She just handed me my money and I walked out of there feeling vindicated and victorious.  I think I saw one of my neighbors in the bank though, so word might get out that I’m a raving lunatic.  Hopefully that won’t come back to haunt me.  But whatever!  I feel so invigorated!

No balls, huh?  Look out, buster.  You might be next on my list.

Just kidding, George

PS Funny enough, I actually do know what I’m doing for the weekend.  I’m going to dinner with Hannah (from the internet).  We spoke again last night.  She goes to church on Sundays, so that might be a little weird.  But who knows?  Maybe we’ll still have a nice time.      

To: “George Cosmos”  gcosmos5472@aol.com      Tuesday July 14, 2009  8:37 PM

From: “Victor Scorzelli” scorzelli@turboappliances.com

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Band Rehearsal

Dude,

Haven’t heard from you since the big blowout at the restaurant Saturday night.  Sorry to hear about that.  Who would’ve thought that you’d run into the asshole bank teller from the other day.  You know I was only joking when I suggested you say those things to her. How are you feeling?  Was her boyfriend a super big dude?  I wish I could come see you in the hospital but Frannie’s parents are in town for the week and we promised we’d show them around.  What about Hannah?  Is she still not talking to you?  That was fucked up what the teller did.  She didn’t have to tell Hannah about the hookers and what not.  That was crossing a line.

Anyway, I’ll give you a call when things are a little less busy. 

Peace, Victor

PS I almost forgot to tell you.  I kicked Dan out of the band.  He was pissed.  He said he’ll probably never speak to either one of us ever again.  Big deal.  

“Shop Turbo Appliances for All Your Appliance Needs”-turboappliances.com

People who looked at this item also looked at…

• About
• DATING: Chris Brown Seeks Woman Interested in Six Months of Community Service
• INTRODUCING AMERICA for KIDS!!!
• RETRACTION: Neil Young Still Young, Paul Simon Old
• Flint, Michigan: NEW Live Music Capital of the World

Tweet This Post

Tags: Victor & George