Indie Band, Grizzly Bear, Attacked by Three-Year-Old Child
BROOKLYN, N.Y.—Early yesterday morning, it was announced that the Brooklyn-based musical group, Grizzly Bear, was attacked by a three-year-old child outside their rehearsal studio. According to witnesses, the band wandered away from their manager, who was paying a taxi driver at the time, and walked towards the child, ignorant of the danger they were facing. The child then, sensing something was coming at it, raced towards the group and viciously attacked them.
“It all happened so quickly,” said Ramon Rodriquez, 25, of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. “The manager was screaming to the group to kneel on the ground and cover their heads but by then the kid already had a hold of one of them and began gnawing on his right arm.”
Drummer, Christopher Bear, who lent his last name to the musical group, suffered the worst of it, having his right arm severed from his torso. The rest of the group also suffered major injuries, though not as terrible as Bear’s, and are recovering in a nearby hospital.
According to manager, Hal Grapple, once they fully recover, they will continue to rehearse for some east coast dates set for later this summer. In regards to Bear’s lost extremity, Grapple insists it won’t be a problem.
“We’re flying in Rick Allen of Def Leppard and he’s going to show Chris the ropes. Luckily, a loss of limb has happened previously in rock ‘n’ roll so a precedent has already been set. All Chris has to do is do what Rick did for all those years. He can even learn to twirl his sticks with his one good arm if he wants to. That seemed to be the highlight of that first Def Leppard video after the accident.”
In regards to the child, she was shot in the arm by a nearby police officer and quickly fled the scene before she could be detained. Her whereabouts are currently unknown, though the entire neighborhood of Williamsburg, Brooklyn has been put on a security alert. People have been asked to remain indoors, keep all garbage lids firmly shut and to not leave any food laying around outside.
The police have also asked anyone sighting the renegade child to call 911.
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