Alison Krauss Chokes on Own Vomit, Foiling Follow-Up to Krauss/Plant Grammy Award-Winning CD
NASHVILLE—Shocking not only the entire country music world but the entire world itself, country singer, Alison Krauss, was found choking on her own vomit in a friend’s bathroom, after a long night of eating nothing but liver, bratwurst and pastrami dipped in castor oil. And though Krauss survived the incident, singing partner, Robert Plant, insists he will not continue with the follow-up CD to their Grammy Award-winning hit, Raising Sand.
“Oh no,” said Plant, at a recent press conference. “There’s no way I’m going through that again. Once was enough. Whether it was pastrami dipped in castor oil or it was three fifths of vodka, it’s still destructive behavior and I’m too old to be dealing with those kinds of things.”
Plant was referring to former drummer for Led Zeppelin, John Bonham, who had died in 1980 by choking on his own vomit after a long day of drinking. His death was the end of, what some considered, the greatest rock band of all time. During the years following, fans were only left with recordings and recollections of seeing them perform live to remember them by. According to critics, it was one of the darkest moments in the history of rock music.
Krauss is recovering in a nearby hospital, being treated for excessive purging of meats. At the time of the incident, her longtime friend, Fran Hacklebeck, was able to save her by administering the Heimlich Maneuver and forcing the vomit out of Krauss’ esophagus, allowing her to breathe again.
“She was as blue as a blueberry muffin,” said Hacklebeck. “She looked like that girl in the Willie Wonka movie. At first I thought she was pulling some kind of prank, because that’s how she is, but then I realized it was no joke and quickly sprung into action. Now all I have to do is clean up the mess on the bathroom floor.”
Krauss’ management have refused to comment on the incident, though they are pleading with Plant to reconsider his decision to not continue recording with Krauss. Unfortunately, according to an unnamed source, negotiations are not going very well.”
“He’s pissed,” said the source. “He’s been through this before. He’s also wondering if maybe Krauss had hid satanic messages on their last release, Raising Sand, which was something Jimmy Page was accused of in Led Zeppelin. All he kept saying during the meeting was ‘Why me?! Why me?!”
In place of recording with Krauss, according to Plant, he plans on resuming his “reunion” shows with the remaining members of Led Zeppelin.
“At least I know what I’m working with it,” he said as he walked away from the podium.
People who looked at this item also looked at…
Related items
loading...
