Meet the Writers!!! Today’s Profile: CARL KUCKLE
Carl Kuckle has been with The Umpteenth Times since Day One. In fact, after much debate over what to name the site, Carl finally threw his cigar in the trash can (still lit), stood up on the table in front of his co-workers and screamed, “Listen, dummies! I didn’t leave Hustler magazine to work with a bunch of numbskulls that can’t even make up their minds about what to name the goddamn website. Now, I’m telling you for the umpteenth t….”
It was then we realized we had a winner, not only in a name but in one of the finest contributors to ever handle a keyboard.
Carl’s interest include: Body surfing, gambling, sniffing glue, and a nice, pleasant game of horsheshoes.
He has been married four times and is engaged to be married again. He is 34 years old.
He is also working on his third novel, The Man Who Doesn’t Know JackS**t. His previous novels, The Unmowed Lawn and The House Not Built to Last, were panned by critics but adored by fans. He is still one of the most popular scribblers on the internet working today.
He currently lives in Stockholm, Sweden and plans on moving back to New York City “as soon as all the rich kids leave and everyone can finally get back to business.”
The following is an excerpt from his first novel, The Unmowed Lawn:
The drugs didn’t kick in until about halfway through the front yard. The mower was screaming something about bats but that was the last thing I needed to think about: bats. It was hot that day, too hot. I was sweating like a dirty dog and I didn’t like it. That was the reason I dropped those tabs of acid and snorted that special K. That’s how I deal with the heat. In fact, that’s the only way to deal with the heat, if you’re smart enough.
Carl can be reached by email at CarlKuckle@theumpteenthtimes.com.
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