Jamie Farr to Replace Simon Cowell on American Idol
HOLLYWOOD—According to sources close to the show, actor and longtime game show guest, Jamie Farr, will be replacing Simon Cowell for the next season of American Idol.
“The producers don’t feel as if Ellen is pulling her weight as a comedian,” said an unidentified employee at Fox. “In fact, they think she stinks. Bringing in a great comic force like Jamie Farr will no doubt keep the show fresh, especially for its younger viewers.”
Recently, Cowell announced he will not be returning to American Idol, leaving a spot open for another devilish commentator to take his place.
“Originally, that was the plan. There was talk of Charles Manson, Osama Bin Laden or Dick Cheney, who all would’ve been great for the show. Ultimately, the producers figured that’d be too predictable. They feel Farr, being the big star that he is, will carry the show for at least another five years.”
When reached for comment, Farr, who was often a guest on shows like Match Game and The Gong Show, told a group of reporters that he can’t confirm the rumor. He did, however, tell of his leaving his two-bedroom home in the suburbs for a mansion in Beverly Hills that once belonged to Gregory Peck. Â
“I’ve always wanted to live in Beverly Hills but could never afford it,” said the television great. “They barely paid me anything on MASH. One season they paid me in Burger King coupons. That’s how cheap they were. I’ll be rolling in the dough soon enough. Did you know that I’ve never swam in a swimming pool before? This’ll be my first time.”
Reaction to the rumor has been mostly positive. Greg Ginkle, reporter for the Hollywood blog, Celebrity Trash, wrote that adding Farr to the already stellar cast of judges will bring the show to new heights, making every episode “a television event for the ages.”
“He’s got everything you need in a celebrity judge,” Ginkle wrote. “He’s got personality. He’s got charm. And most of all, he’s got that infamous schnozzola. That’s one honker America has been fascinated with for years.”
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[...] PDRTJS_settings_1722056_post_1680 = { "id" : "1722056", "unique_id" : "wp-post-1680", "title" : "Jamie+Farr+to+Replace+Simon+Cowell+on+American+Idol", "item_id" : "_post_1680", "permalink" : "http%3A%2F%2Fnocureforthat.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F05%2F26%2Fjamie-farr-to-replace-simon-cowell-on-american-idol%2F" } originally posted at THE UMPTEENTH TIMES [...]