The Ghost of Tito Puente Arrested in Arizona for Lack of Documentation
PHOENIX—After visiting longtime friends in the suburbs of Phoenix, AZ, the ghost of Tito Puente found himself in an awful position yesterday when police officers insisted he provide proof of American citizenship.
According to witnesses, the ghost of Puente was flying in the sky above the city, when a police helicopter motioned to him that he must land or be shot. Being a ghost, Puente laughed at the idea of being shot but decided to land anyway “just because he’s a nice guy.”
“The second he was on the ground, two squad cars pull up and four cops throw him up against one of the cars,” said witness, Denny Carlstone. “The cops shout to him to show them some I.D.. How did they expect a ghost to show I.D.? It was the stupidest thing I ever saw.”
Not having the proper papers to prove he is (or was) an American citizen, Puente was then tossed in the back of the car and hauled to a detention center, where other suspected illegal immigrants are waiting to speak to lawyers. Luckily for Puentes, his notoriety as a musician while he was alive helped him to find a lawyer who was quick to help him get released.
“My client was born in New York City,” said attorney, Rick Rangleford. “And his parents were of Puerto Rican descent. These cops were ready to send him to Mexico. There’s something seriously wrong going on here.”
When reached for comment, Puente, who fought for America in World War II, simply stated, “What the hell is wrong with these people? I thought those days were over when a brown-skinned ghost would be profiled and arrested in the United States. It’s like the country is digressing in its sensibilities.”
Upon leaving Puente promised to return to the recording studio to record a cover version of Public Enemy’s “By the Time I Get to Arizona,” and indictment on Arizona’s failure to adopt Martin Luther King Day as a legitimate holiday. Guests appearing on the recording will be Desi Arnaz and Freddie Prinz Sr..
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