Simon & Garfield to Reunite for One Last Tour
NEW YORK—Announcements came this morning, exciting everyone in the music industry, that singing duo, Simon & Garfield, will be touring for one last go around, before calling it a day and retiring to warmer climates and other dreams yet fulfilled.
“I always have a good time when I get together with Garfield,” said singer, Carly Simon. “We’re old friends. You can even call us bookends. We’re that close. True, we may have had our squabbles in the past, but we’re at an age now in which we can forget how I completely left him out in the cold to pursue my solo career. We’re much more mature these days. Now we sing purely for the fun of it.”
In response, Garfield, the lasagna-loving cat, says he has let bygones be bygones, though in the back of his mind, he still can’t help but feel a little jilted by his longtime friend.
“We were really onto something,” said Garfield, as he eyed rolled his eyes at a member of his entourage, Odie, who happened to be looking at him blankly and stupidly. “We had a sound that was unique and groundbreaking. Then she left, just like that. Yes, there have been reconciliations. But can ever truly forgive someone entirely, particularly when they go on to be a success and you’re relegated to appear in a cartoon series just to pay the rent?”
Rehearsals for the tour have already begun, according to the duo, and promises to perform their most classic hits, like “Bridge Over Dirty Water Bowl” and “The Sound of Snoring,” have already been made, causing a frenzy over the internet. On one Simon & Garfield fansite, fans have posted “wishlist playlists,” in which they have already imagined what songs will be sung and in what order.
“Like I said, we’ll play the classics, but it’ll be up to Garfield and I as to what order they are sung,” insisted Simon.
When asked about retirements plans after the tour, Simon says she will be moving to Jamaica, where she’ll be writing her memoirs, hopefully beginning a long, prosperous career as a writer.
And for Garfield? Simon simply stated, “He’ll be put to sleep.”
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