Vampire Weekend Being Sued by Lesser Known Act, Vampire Memorial Day Weekend
NEW YORK-Early this afternoon, the indie pop band, Vampire Weekend, learned from their lawyers at XL Recordings that they were being sued by the lesser known (but much older) band, Vampire Memorial Day Weekend, who claim the name of their band had been stolen and homogenized into a more “kid-friendly” and less threatening nomenclature.
“Those punks totally ripped us off,” said Greg Vargas, 43, of Brooklyn, N.Y.. “I used to work with Chris Tomson, the drummer, at a coffee shop in the Village. And when I told him the name of my band, Vampire Memorial Day Weekend, he said it was an awesome name. He even came to see us play once at my uncle’s deli in Bay Ridge. Then out of nowhere, he’s friggin’ famous and completely ripping off our whole act!”
According to Vargas, the name of his band was also originally just called “Vampire Weekend,” but then after their former bassist, Ricky Blotchzeck, got drunk and enlisted in the Navy accidentally, they decided it would be a great farewell gift to rename the band.
“Ricky’s a great guy,” Vargas continued. “He’s my brother-in-law. You should’ve seen his going away party. It was the greatest frickin’ time ever. I blew three hundred dollars on lapdances by this Puerto-Rican stripper. Whoa! She was so hot!”
A spokesperson for Vampire Weekend stated in an interview hours ago that the band insists they were the one’s who were ripped off and, since they felt sorry for Vargas and his bandmates, they never considered suing. It was also revealed that Chris Tomson, who did actually work with Vargas at a coffee shop, has had his feelings hurt, after learning he was being sued by his former co-worker. Apparently, Tomson used to bring Vargas along on road trips, to get him out of the city and into more nurturing environments.
“According to Mr. Thomson, Mr. Vargas was a mess when they worked together,” said Betty Vintleton, representative for the band. “He was forty years old and not taking care of himself. That was when Chris Tomson decided to help him out. It was also during this time that Mr. Vargas and friends decided to use the Vampire Weekend name without permission. It was only out of sympathy that they were never sued. The band members of Vampire Weekend are very upset with the members of Vampire Memorial Day Weekend. Very upset. They ask that the lawsuit be dropped.”
Mr. Vargas’ lawyer, Daniel Chiuttoti, has already refused one request to drop the suit and stated earlier today that he has no plans on dropping it in the future either. He did, however, state that Mr. Vargas better come up with his fee, whether his band wins the lawsuit or not. And if the band decides to skip town on him, Mr. Chiuttoti knows how to find them. Apparently, “he knows guys.”
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