Kings of Leon Found to be Merely ‘Princes of Poppycock’
NASHVILLE—According to an investigative report by The Umpteenth Times’ Barry Blain, the indie-rock band, Kings of Leon, who have been traveling the world under the guise of “kings,” are apparently only princes, or more specifically “princes of poppycock.”
“I did some serious research into this,” Blain said at a press conference early this morning. “From what I understand a couple of the members of the band were dubbed the name, ‘princes of poppycock,’ by a social studies teacher in the twelfth grade. They carried that nomenclature around with them for a year or two, unable to shake it off. Then, when it was time to start a band, they self-promoted themselves from ‘princes’ to ‘kings,’ without going through the proper channels, as is the custom.”
The custom, according to most Shakespearean text, is for the king, who is about usually about to die, to appoint one of his sons the future king. Or a brother of the king may take the thrown if the king passes away, as was the case in Hamlet, when Claudius, after Hamlet’s father’s death, was named king, though it was revealed later that he, in fact, killed his own brother.
“I don’t think anyone in Kings of Leon would’ve been capable of killing anyone,” Blain replied to comparisons to Hamlet. “They’re a sly bunch, no doubt, but they’re the kind of people that just assume the role and figure no one is ever going to challenge their kingship. Surprisingly, they were right, until now at least. With their past revealed, they’ve got a lot of explaining to do, to the media, as well as their fans.”
Fan reaction has been mixed. Some have smashed their Kings of Leon CDs in the streets, yelling “traitors to the crown!,” while others shrug it off as no big deal.
“I didn’t think we had kings and queens in this country,” said Vic Darowitz of Memphis, Tennessee. “I thought that was the point of America, to not be like Europe. If they want to call themselves ‘Kings,’ whatever. I never thought Duke Ellington was really a ‘Duke.’ I thought he was just some jazz composer who gave himself a cool name. Not that I’m comparing Kings of Leon to Duke Ellington, but let them call themselves whatever they want. If that makes them feel good about themselves, who is it hurting?”
Not all fans agree with Darowitz’s assessment. In fact, Nate Troksky of Seattle, Washington claims he is organizing a class action lawsuit against the band, citing that they misrepresented themselves, luring people in to spend money on Cds, concerts and other merchandise.
“I’ve spoken to a lawyer and he says we have a good case,” Troksky said. “We bought millions of dollars of merchandise, plus concerts sales, under the impressions that they were really kings and it turns out they’re merely ‘princes of poppycock,’ a name given to them by a social studies teacher no less. We’ve been lied to and we want reparations.”
The band had no comment and are said to be hiding out in their castle on the outskirts of their home town of Nashville, Tennessee.
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[...] probably won't appreciate that article is Starr D who makes some great low rise jeans. I wanted toKings of Leon Found to be Merely Princes of Poppycock …NASHVILLEAccording to an investigative report by The Umpteenth Times' Barry Blain, the indie-rock [...]