God-Awful Hip-Hop Version of Dylan Song Means Well, says Pepsi-Cola
The Nexus of the Universe—According to representatives of the popular soft drink, Pepsi-Cola, hip-hop artist, Will.I.Am., doesn’t mean any harm to the folks who feel as if his version of the Bob Dylan classic, “Forever Young,” is atrocious and unlistenable. In fact, Pepsi suggests that he actually is expressing his good intentions towards the world when singing his rendition of the song.
“He means well,” said Calvin Glubnick of Pepsi. “True, he’s not the most talented of hip-hop artists. And the Dylan version of the song is infinitely better, but give the guy a break. He’s trying. We sorta felt bad for him. That’s why we used his version for the commercial. It was purely out of sympathy. I wish the public would show him the same compassion.”

The licensing of his songs for commercial use is nothing new to Bob Dylan. Back in the 1980’s, he infuriated hi fans by lending his song, “Blowing in the Wind” to Apple Computers. This time around, however, it isn’t the licensing of songs that has the fans upset. It’s Will.I.Am’s unnerving version that Pepsi has using to “pollute” the airwaves, as one viewer put it.
“It hurts to have to hear it,” said Frank Julupio of Woodstock, N.Y.. “I sit down to watch a nice game of baseball and I’m forced to suffer through one of the worst attempts at one of my favorite songs ever. My wife was vomiting the other night after first hearing it. Doesn’t Pepsi realize people are just sick over this? Haven’t they any heart?”
When reached for comment, a spokesman for Bob Dylan told this reporter that Dylan could care less if the hip-hop artist has mangled his song into unrecognizable pieces. He said Dylan was glad to receive a gigantic amount of money from Pepsi and looks forward to more ventures in which a lot of cash will head his way.
“Mr. Dylan is extremely happy with his partnership with Pepsi,” said Dan Heddleman, P.R. representative. “There’s has always been a long running tradition of folk artists joining hands with soft drink companies to help spread the sugar-filled, carbonated message that happiness can only be obtained by drinking drinks that sometimes taste like shoe polish.”
According to the Folk Archivists Institute in Boulder, Colorado, legendary folk singer, Pete Seeger, at one time, had a deal with Dr. Pepper, in which he was asked to sneak in the soft drink’s name, whenever he sang the civil rights anthem, “We Shall Overcome.”
Apparently, as Martin Luther King Jr. was singing the song in the streets of Alabama, fighting for civil rights in the sixties, he was clueless to the fact he was also selling soft drinks at the time.
“It was a very clever move by Dr Pepper,” said Chad Remmington of the Institute. “Folk music and soft drinks are like peanut butter and jelly, so no one should be surprised about Dylan’s song appearing in that Pepsi commercial. Although, I have to admit as well, I hate the Will.I.Am. version. Just hate it. Bleck!!!”
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