Thirty-Something Man Asks Girlfriend, “Who in the Hell is Lady Gaga?”
Burlington, VT—While reading the paper Monday morning, Burlington resident, Frank Glumm, 37, stumbled upon an article concerning the attendees of MTV’s 2009 Video Music Awards, prompting him to turn to his girlfriend at the breakfast table and ask, “Who in the hell is Lady Gaga?”
“He had no idea who she was,” said girlfriend, Hannah Polinksi, 35. “He never watches MTV. Like Ever. I catch it occasionally when my friends are over and we have nothing to do. Also, he doesn’t go out to the dance clubs as much as I do, so that’s not really his world. It didn’t surprise me that he hadn’t heard of her. That’s my Frankie.”
Polinski then went on to explain to Glumm that rumors have been circulating that Lady Gage may be a hermaphrodite, having both male and femal genitalia. Glumm, surprisingly, had no reaction to this bit of information.
“I figured I’d blow his mind with that one,” said Polinski. “He just said something like “Hmm” and continued drinking his coffee. That I thought was strange.”
According to Glumm, a child that grew up two doors down from him in a nearby Vermont town was born with both male and female genitalia and was accepted by the entire community, not treated like a freak and or ostracized for the strange turn of events nature had for him/her.
“I grew up with hippie parents and everyone was very progressive, “ explained Glumm. “There was also a child with eleven toes, a set of siamese twins and a dog with only three legs. Still, we were all very happy and pleasant to each other. That’s the way everyone should be. I really could care less is this Lady Whatshername is a hemaphrodite or not. What I really want to know is, how is her music? Does it suck? It sounds like it sucks. That’s when my prejudices come out, when someone’s really stinking it up on the microphone.”
Following the initial interview with Glumm, this reporter obtained a copy of Lady Gaga’s latest CD and played it for Glumm. Predictably, he was not happy with what he had heard.
“Oh man, that shit’s bad. That’s what kids are listening to these days? I never thought I’d say this but what happened to the good old days, when bands like Slayer and Venom were kicking everyone’s ass? Aren’t any of these kids into death metal anymore? What a bunch of wimps. Looks like I’m going to have to get out there and show them how it’s done.”
Glumm then exited his home, blasted a Slayer CD out of the car in the driveway and rcoked out like a crazy motherfucker. His last words were, “Yeah!!!!!!!”
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Both of them haven’t heard of her? Do they live in a closet? Like seriously, she’s everywhere! She’s on commercials, in other artists music videos, she usually has 1 or 2 songs on iTunes top 10!
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OMG!
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