Frank Gurbleck joined The Umpteenth Times writing staff directly after serving a seven-year prison sentence for attempting to smuggle contraband into the country. Gurbleck, to this day, insists he did not know that monkeys were considered contraband, otherwise he never would’ve jammed three of them into his suitcase on his trip back from Africa....
Read more »

Like the previously introduced Carl Kuckle, Barry Blain has been a contributer to The Umpteenth Times since it first hit the world wide web. Unlike Carl, however, Barry lives a very regimented lifestyle, which includes six hours of yoga a day and two hours of meditation. The remainder of his day is spent writing,...
Read more »

Carl Kuckle has been with The Umpteenth Times since Day One. In fact, after much debate over what to name the site, Carl finally threw his cigar in the trash can (still lit), stood up on the table in front of his co-workers and screamed, “Listen, dummies! I didn’t leave Hustler magazine to work...
Read more »